If you don’t have an id card fake today and plan to go to a bar in NYC that is definitely not a high school club, you should do it first thing tomorrow. This is the story of Bwoggers’ most memorable counterfeits. Hi Mom!

I got my most memorable scannable fake id in the parking lot in Ross in downtown LA, and it said I had “blonde” eyes. A ruthless club bouncer removed it in Savannah, Georgia.

My most memorable con was visiting my sister at Columbia University during my sister’s first year. It worked for quite a while until I lost my wallet while skiing in Hunter one day and someone turned it over to Lost and Found. The security asked when my birthday was before returning the wallet to me, so I told him. Then he took out my id card fake and let me know that I had committed a legal crime. He said he would call me if he asked me to get it back.

Toronto’s Yonge Street is just a few blocks away, with greasy Storm Cellar shops crammed beneath strip clubs and sports bars. Part of these promotions: “$25! Best fake ID around!” I picked my first one while attending the 2009 Toronto LGBTQ Pride. This is ideal, although it looks as good as you might expect: in Toronto they see it as a Quebec ID card and ask me for si je parle français (which I do), while in New York they see it as French and give up any excuse for trying to understand it.

I (shrewdly) avoided the cooler suburban addresses of the first year to buy a fake id. The weather was cool, it was pouring rain, and when my partner and I showed up before [we’re changing the name in case it’s still open], the place was closed for lunch. We were ignored for a long time, but they managed to misspell my last name when they made a fake id. Character Misrepresentation Noticed and satisfied with my half-Anglo surname, I asked the individual to give me another name spelled correctly. Two Maine ID cards for the cost of one.

I went to International and bought a party sized Smirnoff container and I seem to realize what’s going on and it’s so cool to play with it – I mean I went through my childhood in Brooklyn and I’ve had a fake for almost a year time. When I got to the front of the line, there was a pot of sminoroff nearby, the guy asked to see my ID, so I – utterly calm and collected – took out my trusty Delaware id card fake – a piece of unscannable garbage I’ve had for a long time Land previously back to NYU 8th Street cost $65 to purchase. The back of the card does say “This is definitely not an adaptive ID”. But hello, it works – I mean more of the time. I never realized my Delaware address.

Things go on in a good way, the guy looks at the card, no one is surprised, looks at your stuff, gives it back, and starts pouring the vodka. I took out my commendation card and handed it to him. He checked.

“That’s not the name on your ID.” My fake id has my first and last name, and my credit card has my mom’s first and original last name. “what is this?”
“It’s my mom’s debit card! I promise!”
“Whose Visa is — it’s illegal to use someone else’s Mastercard, you know? Be careful next time.” He returned the Mastercard.
“Totally, embarrassingly, sure my night was demolished, I returned my wallet. ‘Hello, um, so can I pay with real money anytime?'”
He paused for a moment, then, at this point, shrugged, “Obviously.”

Early Education at Morningside: International is strict with Mastercard and careless with ID.